Jump On It.

To the Father of Blake*:

Sir, I've come to understand that you encourage Blake to climb on things. And jump off. Because this is good for his gross motor skills.

Well, Sir... That's why they have playgrounds.

You see, there is a correct time and place for everything. Not only does this make it harder for us to keep Blake from getting hurt, but this also poses a danger to the other innocent bystanders (children) who are getting jumped upon. 

I've also been made aware that your wife is quite embarrassed when Blake climbs the shelves at the grocery store. One the one hand, she doesn't want to be the mean parent who doesn't let Blake jump off of whatever he pleases, but on the other hand, she's quite aware that everyone else in the store thinks she's FUCKING INSANE for letting her child climb all over the shelves, for God's sake!

Your wife probably loves you and cares about your marriage too much to bring this to your attention, but it's time for you to start acting like an adult. 

There ARE other activities that would be just as beneficial to Blake's gross motor development.

Hopscotch
Jump Rope
Tag

Catch

Balance Beam

Red Light/Green Light

Crab Soccer

Basketball
Tooty Ta (this is a good silly one)

Dancing

Balloon Tennis

The Hokey Pokey

Climbing the Stairs

and last, but not least,
... Jumping off of appropriate things at the playground.

Regards,

Ms. FeliciaRose

*names changed to protect privacy of all parties involved.